fleamailman
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never ending storysomehow he didn't quite remember how it has all started, there was that moment and then it all seemed to flow from there as...
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Chrissy Canadian
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i remember how it started, why didn't you just ask me 
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silver fox
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fleamailman
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somehow the idea is continue the sentence but then the goblin remembered that UKforumbots communicated is smileys so he would continue the story for them then
...as he had turned up to forum again he suddenly noticed that...
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silver fox
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fleamailman
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...noticed that a smiling smiley had been posted, it could only mean that...
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fleamailman
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...could only mean that suddenly Silver Fox had had a vision that in front of him appeared three goddesses who each in turn asked for his choice amongst them "...my name is Athena goddess of wisdom, if you choose me I will give you a television...", "...my name is Artemis goddess of the wild, if you choose me, you'll get a six pack..." "...and my name is Aphrodite goddess of love, choose me and the sofa is yours..." and with that his fate was sealed but what he would choose was still in the deciding as....
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Chrissy Canadian
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| fleamailman wrote: | somehow the idea is continue the sentence but then the goblin remembered that UKforumbots communicated is smileys so he would continue the story for them then
...as he had turned up to forum again he suddenly noticed that... |
i know what the idea is, i was just being facetious but are we still allowed to use smileys? cause i like smileys?   
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Jolufc
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I love smilies             
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fleamailman
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| Chrissy Canadian wrote: | | fleamailman wrote: | somehow the idea is continue the sentence but then the goblin remembered that UKforumbots communicated is smileys so he would continue the story for them then
...as he had turned up to forum again he suddenly noticed that... |
i know what the idea is, i was just being facetious but are we still allowed to use smileys? cause i like smileys? |
and then the goblin showed up, the written text flowed and the UKforumbots gasped grunts of enlightenment at this wondrous new concept called "writing", "...damm..." said the goblin "...I've failed and this experiment has failed..." he quickly explained "...you see I meant to observe primitive poster-gatherers here in their native habitat, collect data on their smileycations as the holler across the forum canopy and send all my findings to national geographic magazine for the "discovery of the century" column but now that this evolutionary watershed is breached, UKforumbotman might actually evolve into human beings some time in the near future..." so the goblin rushed to send what data he had before they change too much from smiley posting
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fleamailman
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and then the Darwin goblin suddenly faced the stunned audience in front of him, he had just mentioned why, in his opinion, he had to draw the conclusion that all members here were descended from the one "lil eva" species he continued in the abated silence of the tentative lecture room "...in fact not only do I put it to you gentlemen that we are all descended from the one "lil eva" species but that since lil eva had mentioned that the goblin was welcome..." Darwin waved the typed copy of the text in his hand to prove it, "...that it could probably read and write too, so therefore gentlemen it has to be later, by some evolutionary mishap perhaps, that the other members of this site had regressed into posting smileys on the "never ending story" thread..." the audience pondered the idea deeply, slow silence, and then a sudden rush to their smiley boxes again
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Jolufc
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silver fox
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fleamailman
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the goblin had sunk to yet new depths "...ours is to witness..." he mummered as he found himself face to face with another strange smiley text, outside the museum the faggot lamps hide the lurking shadows in the Paris streets below, Napoleon had had the smiley stone that they found in Egypt traced, and now Napoleon had entrusted the goblin with a copy, yes the English had stopped them at the battle of the Nile, they had taken the smiley stone too, but this was just as important for history, that is, since all scientific eyes were now turned towards the goblin and the text itself and as to who could translate smileygraphics first, France or Britain, and then the great Ork entered and asked "...have you finished testing the WIFI on that computer...", "...um, yes I think so boss, I haven't tested the post button though, another few minutes and we will know for sure..." "...ok, but don't take all day then..." "...no, for sure boss..." as the goblin signed off
....
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silver fox
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never ending
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fleamailman
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Dear Gorden Brown
Thank you for your secretary's letter requesting more smileys, unfortunately I am a tied up here as some of your minions have escaped from the UKforum's high security whatever and are squatting on my "never ending story" thread but if you could just keep them under sway for a moment I am sure I will be able to post more smileys for you, promise. Anyway, give my regards to queen Victoria. I remain.,
Your sincerely,
A. Fleamailman
(Thread Custodian)
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Bravo
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Can I have some rhubarb crumble with your thread custodian?
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Jolufc
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Ohhh I havent had any rhubarb crumble for ages
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fleamailman
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"...at any rate I'll never go there again..." said the goblin as he picked his way through his mailbox, "...it's the stupidest tea-party I ever was at in all my life..." and just as he said this, he noticed that one of the mails had a words "never ending story done to smileys ", "...that's very curious.." he thought. "...but everything's curious today. I think I may as well go there once more..." he pressed the link "...welcome to the UKforum tea party, Can I have some rhubarb crumble with you, thread custodian?..." said someone vaguely familiar , "...curiouser and curiouser..." thought the goblin replying "...well yes but what about the others here, is there enough to go round I wonder..." asked the goblin
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Bravo
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There is enough to go round if we go in the garden and pick it.
Assuming we have a garden.
And assuming there be rhubarb in said garden.
When you assume, it makes an ASS out of U and ME...
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Jolufc
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fleamailman
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"...funny how we build our lives on a mere assumption of certainty then..." replied the goblin adding "...in fact, nobody has any more life than anyone else but we think that just because someone is older, or because it has been like that till now that it must remain so...", and with that the goblin imagined that a passing alien would just say "...so went the dinosaurs, so goes mankind too, what of it..."
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silver fox
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opps rong post
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Jolufc
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silver fox
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laff here x
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Jolufc
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Im really glad you decided to come back Silver, you are brilliant
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silver fox
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wher the gobling gone l
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Jolufc
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I dunno, he's only posted a couple of times today
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silver fox
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only waw
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Jolufc
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He normally posts loads of stuff, albeit a bit difficult to understand for a thicky like me.
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fleamailman
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the goblin returned, he felt he could reply to anyone and everything, well except for when this screen induced headache he had form yesterday was made worse by the fact that Portugal had won the match, so around the streets car of horning groups of youths waving flags circled where now the goblin's only solace was the thought that in the other football match Switzerland had, as almost expected, lost thus cutting out the noise that they would have made too "...so come on quiet Sweden..." voiced the goblin
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fleamailman
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headache gone, the goblin wanted to continue the "never ending" story, complete with smileys and other detractions to his brilliant narrative, it was here then that he would charm the UKforumbots as they drudged though the vigors of UK living, rain or no rain the only question was...
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Chrissy Canadian
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...whether or not he could keep from staring at the bistro owner's wife...
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fleamailman
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...wife who was larger that the largest of life's largenesses, and although in his heart he too held an attraction for the weight of all her voluptuous opulence, he had learned keep it distant "...well yes, I might have a crush on her but I would probably get crushed to in the process..." the explained as the scenario of the mating praying mantis sprang to mind, besides he had learned to only let his eyes stay, the rest did not...
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silver fox
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god tell you somthing , you are somthing
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Chrissy Canadian
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| fleamailman wrote: | | ...wife who was larger that the largest of life's largenesses, and although in his heart he too held an attraction for the weight of all her voluptuous opulence, he had learned keep it distant "...well yes, I might have a crush on her but I would probably get crushed to in the process..." the explained as the scenario of the mating praying mantis sprang to mind, besides he had learned to only let his eyes stay, the rest did not... |
...the rest of the people in the bistro did not suspect a thing, but she knew that he was watching her... she could feel his gaze upon her...
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Jolufc
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Im beginning to suspect summat
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silver fox
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i dont
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Chrissy Canadian
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... the story continues as jo begins to discover the deep, dark secret of the goblin, something that can only be written and never to be spoken of in public...
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silver fox
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i will try
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fleamailman
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...ah but what was the secret that couldn't be voiced in public wondered the bots about the goblin, did it have something to do with the rhubarb crumble served by the bistro mistress whose baroque beauty charmed the goblin, then somewhere in the background the skeletons again banged at the door their cupboard shouting "...let us out and we will tell you all about the goblin's madness and folly...", "...your too late, the bots have figured out that much for themselves, besides you lot can't digest what you masticate, you're very messy when it comes to meals you know...", which...
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Bravo
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How did the skeletons shout when they have no vocal chords?
Nor did they have anybody to dance with
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fleamailman
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"...oh that's easy..." said the skeletons "...we just borrow the goblin's shaver and talk like Daleks, but you're right about dancing, finding a dance partner is more problematic, but we're open to suggestions then..." a kind of vialed invitation of sorts but did the bots still know the steps they wondered
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fleamailman
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it was at this point that all the metaphors simply melted away to a clear conclusion that he was alone with the last toilet roll on the UKforum site though the sound of distant stomping was growing ever louder and nearer "...what would my hero do in a situation like this..." the goblin kept asking himself "...gosh they could kill one if they went into one of those shopping spree frenzies..." he said knowing that he would have to think of something quickly
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lil eva
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I know he said,i will go to the all night supermarket and replenish my supplies
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fleamailman
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the goblin had been the supermarket thanking queen bot for the idea but the supermarket manageress had explains something elfe so the goblin now filled out the notice for: "Missing, American housewife last seen pushing grocery cart down goblin's last post thread, if found please return to her to the supermarket where another one can be duly attached, warning, do not feed and do not approach as she can be dangerous in that she might fall on you, thank you", "...there slot the things I do for this site, honestly I should get a "bottom poster" award for this...", "...goblin, if we do come across this American housewife ourselves...", "...don't worry slot, I have it all planned, we can borrow a dumpcart, turn it on its side and roll her in, ah wait a sec, how are we going to get the dumpcart upright again..." the goblin looked down while rubbing his chin "...you know slot this could be more difficult than I thought..." said the goblin now open to suggestions
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lil eva
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Well you could get 2 skateboards and place them under the cart!This way you would beable to pull the cart away
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