Josie-lufc
Queen of Randomness
Female
Joined: 03 Apr 2007
Posts: 12443
11 May 1962
Offline
Location: Somewhere in the middle of nowhere
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11 May 1962
Female
Warnings: =
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 Posted: Fri Jun 13, 2008 4:32 pm Post subject: Tesco |
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Do you have a Tesco near you?
One day, in line at the work's cafeteria, Jack says to Mike behind
him, 'my elbow hurts like hell, I suppose I'd better see a doctor!'
Listen, don't waste your time down at the surgery, Mike replies.
There's a diagnostic computer at Tesco. Just give it a urine sample
and the computer will tell you what's wrong and what to do about it.
It takes ten seconds and only costs five quid. ...a lot quicker and
better than a doctor and you get Club card points.
So Jack collects a urine sample in a small jar and takes it to Tesco.
He deposits five pounds and the computer lights up and asks for the
urine sample.
He pours the sample into the slot and waits. Ten seconds later, the
computer ejects a printout.
You have tennis elbow. Soak your arm in warm water and avoid heavy
activity. It will improve in two weeks.
That evening while thinking how amazing this new technology was,Jack
began wondering if the computer could be fooled.
He mixed some tap water, a stool sample from his dog, urine samples
from his wife, daughter and 'pleasured himself' into the mixture for
good measure.
Jack hurried back to Tesco, eager to check what would happen. He
deposits five pounds, pours in his concoction and awaits the
results.
The computer prints the following:
1. Your tap water is too hard. Get a water softener.
2. Your dog has ringworm. Bathe him with anti-fungal shampoo.
3. Your daughter has a cocaine habit. Get her into rehab.
4. Your wife is pregnant. Twins. They aren't yours. Get a lawyer.
5. And if you don't stop playing with yourself, your elbow will never
get better...................Thank you for shopping at Tesco
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