New rules for dieting

midnight caller · Posted: Mon Nov 19, 2007 11:27 am Post subject: New rules for dieting

1. If no one sees you eat it, it has no calories.

2. If you drink a diet soda with candy, they cancel each other out.

3. When eating with someone else, calories don't count if you both eat the same amount.

4. Foods used for medicinal purposes have no calories. This includes any chocolate used for energy, Sara Lee cheesecake (eaten whole), and Haagen-Dazs ice cream.

5. Movie-related foods are much lower in calories simply because they are a part of the entertainment experience and not part of one's personal fuel. This includes (but is not limited to) popcorn with butter, Junior Mints, Snickers, and Gummi Bears.

6. Cookie pieces contain no calories because the process of breakage causes calorie leakage.

7. If you eat the food off someone else's plate, it doesn't count.

8. If you eat standing up the calories all go to your feet and get walked off.

9. Food eaten at Christmas parties has 0 calories, courtesy of Santa.

10. STRESSED is just DESSERTS spelled backward.

_________________

i got the 25000th post

will_lufc · Posted: Mon Nov 19, 2007 6:24 pm Post subject:

_________________
MARCHING ON TOGETHER

	U.K Chat Forum Index -> Funnies -> U.K Chat Jokes	All times are GMT + 1 Hour
Page 1 of 1