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 Posted: Tue Jul 25, 2006 6:20 pm Post subject: Sheep joke |
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A Dundee farmer buys several sheep, hoping to breed them for wool. After several weeks, he notices that none of the sheep are getting pregnant, despite the best efforts of his ram, and so he phones a vet for help.
The vet tells him that he should try artificial insemination. The farmer, being a couple of tassels short of a sporran, doesn't have a clue what artificial insemination is but, not wanting to display his ignorance, only asks the vet how he will know when the sheep are pregnant. The vet explains that when they are pregnant they will stop standing around, and instead will lie down and wallow in grass.
The farmer hangs up and gives it some thought. He comes to the conclusion that artificial insemination means he has to impregnate the sheep himself. So, he loads the sheep into his Land Rover, drives them out to the woods, has sex with them all, brings them back, and goes to bed.
Next morning, he wakes and looks out at the sheep. Seeing that they are all still standig about, he deduces that the first try didn't take, and loads them into the Land Rover again. He drives them out to the woods, bangs each sheep twice for good measure, brings them back, and goes to bed exhausted.
Next morning, he wakes the find the sheep still just standing around. "Try again", he tells himself, and proceeds to load them up and drive out to the woods. He spends all day banging the sheep, and upon returning home, falls straight into bed.
The next morning he cannot even raise himself from the bed to look out of the window, he's so tired. He asks his wife to look, and tell him if the sheep are lying in the grass.
"No", she says, "They're all in the Land Rover - and one of them is beeping the horn."
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