Definately not PC

Nomad · Posted: Sat Nov 18, 2006 1:12 am Post subject: Definately not PC

Colin, a married guy from Yorkshire decided to take a holiday in Turkey on his own. After a few days there, he began to miss his wife and decided to pay a visit to the local sex shop. On entering, the shopkeeper asked Colin how he could help. Colin said that he would like an inflatable doll. 'Certainly', said the shopkeeper, 'would you like a Christian one or a Moslem one?' Colin was a bit puzzled and asked what the difference was. The shopkeeper replied, 'Well the Moslem one blows itself up!'

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"Be who you are and say what you feel,
because those who mind don't matter,
and those who matter don't mind."
Dr. Seuss

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lil eva · Posted: Sat Nov 18, 2006 2:05 am Post subject:

Nice one

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Always remember to forget the troubles that pass your way; BUT NEVER forget the blessings that come each day.

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lil eva · Posted: Sat Nov 18, 2006 2:30 am Post subject:

The reworded one "laffin"

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Always remember to forget the troubles that pass your way; BUT NEVER forget the blessings that come each day.

Nomad · Posted: Sat Nov 18, 2006 6:02 am Post subject:

I guess I told too many people it before I posted. However, it was told to me whilst on holiday in Turkey. As long as it makes everyone smile, that's the main thing.

_________________

"Be who you are and say what you feel,
because those who mind don't matter,
and those who matter don't mind."
Dr. Seuss

Woody · Posted: Sat Nov 18, 2006 7:06 am Post subject:

tw@!!!!!!!!!!

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, he's me buddy

Nomad · Posted: Tue Nov 28, 2006 4:02 pm Post subject:

Thanks Baldy.

I'm glad someone's on my side.

_________________

"Be who you are and say what you feel,
because those who mind don't matter,
and those who matter don't mind."
Dr. Seuss

LynnT · Heavyweight. Joined: 17 Oct 2006 Posts: 12109 Offline

hmmmmm very profound

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LynnT · Heavyweight. Joined: 17 Oct 2006 Posts: 12109 Offline

Subject: FW: blondes

BLONDE LOGIC
Two blondes living in Oklahoma were sitting on a bench talking, and one blonde says to the other, "Which do you think is farther away... Florida or the moon?"
The other blonde turns and says "Helloooooooooo, can you see Florida?????"

CAR TROUBLE
A blonde pushes her BMW into a gas station. She tells the mechanic it died.
After he works on it for a few minutes, it is idling smoothly.
She says, "What's the story?"
He replies, "Just crap in the carburetor"
She asks, "How often do I have to do that?"

SPEEDING TICKET
A police officer stops a blonde for speeding and asks her very nicely if he could see her license.
She replied in a huff, "I wish you guys would get your act together. Just yesterday you take away my license and then today you expect me to show it to you!"

RIVER WALK
There's this blonde out for a walk. She comes to a river and sees another blonde on the opposite bank. "Yoo-hoo!" she shouts, "How can I get to the other side?"
The second blonde looks up the river then down the river and shouts back, "You ARE on the other side."

AT THE DOCTOR'S OFFICE
A gorgeous young redhead goes into the doctor's office and said that her body hurt wherever she touched it.
"Impossible!" says the doctor. "Show me."
The redhead took her finger, pushed on her left shoulder and screamed, then she pushed her elbow and screamed even more. She pushed her knee and screamed;
likewise she pushed her ankle and screamed. Everywhere she touched made her scream.
The doctor said, "You're not really a redhead, are you?
"Well, no" she said, "I'm actually a blonde."
"I thought so," the doctor said. "Your finger is broken."

KNITTING
A highway patrolman pulled alongside a speeding car on the freeway. Glancing at the car, he was astounded to see that the blonde behind the wheel was knitting!
Realizing that she was oblivious to his flashing lights and siren, the trooper cranked down his window, turned on his bullhorn and yelled, "PULL OVER!"
"NO!" the blonde yelled back, "IT'S A SCARF!"

BLONDE ON THE SUN
A Russian, an American, and a Blonde were talking one day. The Russian said, "We were the first in space!"
The American said, "We were the first on the moon!"
T he Blonde said, "So what? We're going to be the first on the sun!"
The Russian and the American looked at each other and shook their heads. "You can't land on the sun, you idiot! You'll burn up!" said the Russian.
To which the Blonde replied, "We're not stupid, you know. We're going at night!"

IN A VACUUM
A blonde was playing Trivial Pursuit one night. It was her turn. She rolled the dice and she landed on Science & Nature. Her question was, "If you are in a vacuum and someone calls your name, can you hear it?"
She thought for a time and then asked, "Is it on or off?"

FINALLY, THE BLONDE JOKE TO END ALL BLONDE JOKES!

A girl was visiting her blonde friend, who had acquired two new dogs, and asked her what their names were. The blonde responded by saying that one was named
Rolex and one was named Timex. Her friend said, "Whoever heard of someone naming dogs like that?"
"HELLLOOOOOOO......," answered the blond. "They're watch dogs!"

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Take it you're a brunette?

A blonde walks into a building - ouch!

LynnT · Heavyweight. Joined: 17 Oct 2006 Posts: 12109 Offline

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Wise words indeed!

Nomad · Posted: Sun Dec 10, 2006 5:53 am Post subject:

Blonde jokes very good LynnT

_________________

"Be who you are and say what you feel,
because those who mind don't matter,
and those who matter don't mind."
Dr. Seuss

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