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Some for the girls

 
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snowgoose
The Stig.

Mixed haha MALE actually

Joined: 27 Oct 2006
Posts: 1548
22 July 1988

PostPosted: Thu Mar 06, 2008 11:18 pm    Post subject: Some for the girls Reply with quote

Q. What should you do if you see your ex-husband rolling around in
pain on the ground?
A. Shoot him again.

Q. How can you tell when a man is well-hung?
A. When you can just barely slip your finger in between his neck and
the noose.

Q. Why do little boys whine?
A. Because they're practicing to be men.

Q. How many men does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A. One - he just holds it up there and waits for the world to revolve
around him. OR...... Three - one to screw in the bulb, and two to listen to
him brag about the screwing part.

Q. What do you call a handcuffed man?
A. Trustworthy.

Q. What does it mean when a man is in your bed gasping for breath and
calling your name?
A. You didn't hold the pillow down long enough.

Q. Why does it take 100,000,000 sperm to fertilize one egg?
A. Because not one will stop and ask directions.

Q. Why do female black widow spiders kill their males after mating?
A. To stop the snoring before it starts.

Q: Why do men whistle when they're sitting on the toilet?
A: Because it helps them remember which end they need to wipe.

Q: What is the difference between men and women?
A: A woman wants one man to satisfy her every need. A man wants every
woman to satisfy his one need.

Q: How do you keep your husband from reading your e-mail?
A: Rename the mail folder: "Instruction Manuals"



And one for the lads.

A recent scientific study found that women find different male faces attractive depending on where they are in their menstrual cycle.

For example, when a woman is ovulating she will prefer a man with rugged, masculine features.


And just before she is menstruating, she prefers a man doused in petrol and set on fire, with scissors stuck in his eye and a cricket stump shoved up his arse



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Jolufc
Forum Poker

Female

Joined: 03 Apr 2007
Posts: 9317
11 May 1962

PostPosted: Thu Mar 06, 2008 11:21 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

   

Brilliant



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will_lufc
Heavyweight.
Heavyweight.

male

Joined: 09 Sep 2007
Posts: 4763
28 March 1969
Location: north yorkshire

PostPosted: Thu Mar 06, 2008 11:48 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote




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silver star
Middleweight
Middleweight

male

Joined: 17 Jan 2008
Posts: 876
2 February 1958
Location: anglesey in n wales

PostPosted: Fri Mar 07, 2008 12:09 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

hehe  



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midnight caller
head of graphics department

female

Joined: 06 Dec 2006
Posts: 3514
17 October 1976
Location: rovvrem

PostPosted: Sat Mar 29, 2008 2:28 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

     



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lil eva
Admin
Admin

Female

Joined: 28 Oct 2006
Posts: 8475
17 March 1962
Location: Pontefract

PostPosted: Sat Mar 29, 2008 2:33 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

   



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Jillster
Jilly Belles

Female

Joined: 21 Aug 2007
Posts: 5670
5 March 1969
Location: Leamington Spa

PostPosted: Tue Apr 08, 2008 9:18 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

   



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