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 Posted: Fri Jul 28, 2006 8:42 pm Post subject: Glaswegian Medical Dictionary |
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Glaswegian Medical Dictionary
Artery The study of paintings
Bacteria Back door to the cafeteria
Barium What doctors do when patients die
Bowel A letter like A, E, I, O, or U
Caesarean Section A neighbourhood in Rome
Cat Scan Searching for a lost cat
Cauterise Making eye contact with a woman
Coma A punctuation mark
D & C Where Washington is
Dilate To live longer
Enema Not a friend
Fester Quicker
Fibula A little white lie
Genital Not a Jew
Hangnail Coathook
Impotent Distinguished, well known
Labour Pain Getting hurt at work
Medical Staff Doctors cane
Morbid A higher offer
Nitrates Cheaper than day rates
Node Was aware of
Outpatient A patient who has fainted
Pap Smear A fatherhood test
Pelvis Father of Elvis
Recovery Room Place to do upholstery
Rectum Took apart violently
Secretion Hiding something
Seizure Roman Emperor
Tablet A small table
Terminal Illness Getting sick at the airport
Tumour More than one
Urine Opposite of your out
Varicose Near by
Vein Conceited
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