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 Posted: Fri Sep 01, 2006 11:49 am Post subject: About Women!!!!! |
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WOMAN'S PERFECT BREAKFAST
> She's sitting at the table with her gourmet coffee.
> Her son is on the cover of the Wheaties box.
> Her daughter is on the cover of Business Week.
> Her boyfriend is on the cover of Playgirl.
> And her husband is on the back of the milk carton.
>
>
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> ----
> WOMEN'S REVENGE
> "Cash, check or charge?" I asked, after folding items the woman
wished
> to purchase.
> As she fumbled for her wallet, I noticed a remote control for a
> television set in her purse.
> "So, do you always carry your TV remote?" I asked.
> "No," she replied, "but my husband refused to come shopping with me,
> and I figured this was the most evil thing I could do to him
legally."
>
>
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> ----
> UNDERSTANDING WOMEN
> A MAN'S PERSPECTIVE)
> I know I'm not going to understand women.
> I'll never understand how you can take boiling hot wax,
> pour it onto your upper thigh, rip the hair out by the root,
> and still be afraid of a spider.
>
>
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> ----
> MARRIAGE SEMINAR
> While attending a Marriage Seminar dealing with communication,
> Tom and his wife Grace listened to the instructor,
> "It is essential that husbands and wives know each other's likes and
> dislikes."
> He addressed the man,
> "Can you name your wife's favorite flower?"
> Tom leaned over, touched his wife's arm gently and whispered, "It's
> Pilsbury, isn't it?
>
>
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> ----
> WIFE VS. HUSBAND
> A couple drove down a country road for several miles, not saying a
word.
> An earlier discussion had led to an argument and neither of them
wanted
> to concede their position.
> As they passed a barnyard of mules, goats, and pigs,
> he husband asked sarcastically, "Relatives of yours?"
> "Yep," the wife replied, "in-laws."
>
>
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> ----
> WORDS
> A husband read an article to his wife about how many words women use
a
> day... 30,000 to a man's 15,000.
> The wife replied, "The reason has to be because we have to repeat
> everything
> to men...
> The husband then turned to his wife and asked, "What?"
>
>
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> ----
> CREATION
> A man said to his wife one day, "I don't know how you can be so
stupid
> and so beautiful all at the same time.
> "The wife responded, "Allow me to explain.
> God made me beautiful so you would be attracted to me;
> God made me stupid so I would be attracted to you!
>
>
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> ----
> WHO DOES WHAT
> A man and his wife were having an argument about who should brew the
> coffee each morning.
> The wife said, "You should do it because you get up first, and then
we
> don't have to wait as long to get our coffee.
> The husband said, "You are in charge of cooking around here and you
> should do it, because that is your job, and I can just wait for my
> coffee."
> Wife replies, "No, you should do it, and besides, it is in the Bible
> that the man should do the coffee."
> Husband replies, "I can't believe that, show me."
> So she fetched the Bible, and opened the New Testament and showed him
at
> the top of several pages, that it indeed says .......... "HEBREWS"
>
>
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> ----
> The Silent Treatment
> A man and his wife were having some problems at home and were giving
> each other the silent treatment.
> Suddenly, the man realized that the next day, he would need his wife
to
> wake
> him at 5:00 AM for an early morning business flight.
> Not wanting to be the first to break the silence (and LOSE), he wrote
on
> a
> piece of paper,
> "Please wake me at 5:00 AM." He left it where he knew she would find
it.
> The next morning, the man woke up, only to discover it was 9:00 AM
and
> he
> had missed his flight Furious, he was about to go and see why his
wife
> hadn't wakened him, when he noticed a piece of paper by the bed.
> The paper said, "It is 5:00 AM. Wake up."
> Men are not equipped for these kinds of contests.
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