Abortion........

Louise in Leeds · Posted: Wed Oct 17, 2007 11:22 pm Post subject: Abortion........

Just wondered what your views were? I personally had 2 miscarriages before I went on to give birth to my son and daughter, now 12 and 14 years of age......

... unless there was something wrong with the "foetus", or a good percentage that there was

, ......... or if my life was in danger...... I would never contemplate an abortion....... otherwise, I could understand it..... your views would be interesting to here....

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Pretty Shambolic · Posted: Wed Oct 17, 2007 11:34 pm Post subject:

It's all about circumstance. I lost a kid a few year ago (I was 16) and know how hard it is. It destroyed the relationship, and left things between me and the girl I was living with at the time very bitter. We still don't talk now, but I don't see why I should preech to people who want an abortion because of this - Especially when it was an option we'd considered! We were very young, and not ready for that kind of commitment, but decided not to go through with the abortion as the lass I was with felt it unethical. Others in the same position may feel they have no choice.

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I'm going to live forever! So far, so good...

Josie-lufc · Posted: Wed Oct 17, 2007 11:45 pm Post subject:

I was born with a harelip and cleft pallette and have suffered severe bullying at school and at work because of it. I cant even bear to look in the mirror at myself, have self harmed and have strong feelings of self hatred towards myself.

All my life I have wished that my mother had aborted me but at that time there were no such things as scans so she didnt know there was anything wrong until I was born. I wouldnt want any child to go though what I went through and had there been anything wrong with my son or daughter, I would have seriously considered having an abortion.

I just wish I could have died at birth.

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lil eva · Posted: Thu Oct 18, 2007 9:10 am Post subject:

Jo,anyone who doesn't suffer from a deformity,doesn't know how you feel and i am no exception.
You know you are amongst friends here at least and we love you for who you are not what you look like.Bullies are cowards at the best of times and deserve to be treated as such.

Back on thread....................My views on abortion are along the lines of Louise!
I have always said that the decision should only be made if the baby's or mothers life was in danger.
However thankfully i have not been in the position to have to contemplate this.
It is up to the persons involved and as long as they feel its for the right reasons,who can argue with them.

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Always remember to forget the troubles that pass your way; BUT NEVER forget the blessings that come each day.

Josie-lufc · Posted: Thu Oct 18, 2007 9:15 am Post subject:

Awwww thanks Anne, and yes I know I have good friends on here for which I am very grateful

However, I do think that if the parents can tell the child has a deformity during a scan, then they should think about the childs quality of life even if it is such as small deformity as I have.

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Jillster · Posted: Thu Oct 18, 2007 10:46 am Post subject:

I have very strong views on this and my first reaction was, no way.. I am against abortions.. I have had this conversation with my daughters many times, and although I do not encourage them to sleep around, obviously. I have said that an abortion is not the answer.. What is meant to be.. is meant to be! Life is so precious and no matter what hand you are dealt, that is part of the process.
But, as I have not been in the situation of having to choose, I can only comment on my feelings.

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Josie-lufc · Posted: Thu Oct 18, 2007 12:52 pm Post subject:

Well, life may be precious, but just imagine being pushed, laughed at, told you are extremely ugly, that you make a person feel sick when they look at you, not getting jobs cos of the way you look, being called sledgehammer, face ache, dracula, and that if a person had what I had, they would kill themselves and that I should never be allowed outside and have people doing double takes when they see you, would you really want a child of yours to have to put up with that.

I have to say that is one reason I am glad I have terminal cancer, cos hopefully I wont have to put up with that for much longer.

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LynnT · Heavyweight. Joined: 17 Oct 2006 Posts: 12109 Offline

Jillster · Posted: Thu Oct 18, 2007 2:45 pm Post subject:

Josie-lufc · Posted: Thu Oct 18, 2007 3:44 pm Post subject:

Oh Jilly, no you havent offended me

and you are entitled to your opinion without worrying you are gonna upset anyone.

No, its not the OLD Jo coming back, she is well gone

, its just that I dont think people realise just how hard it is for someone who has got a deformity to live in todays world and although people probably think oh well take no notice, but to have to put with it for the whole of your life knowing there is nothing you can do to change things can be virtually impossible and the constant teasing and bullying can cause severe lack of self confidence and as in my circumstances self hatred to such an extent, that you self harm.

Like everyone says it depends on the circumstances, but imho if a scan shows a foetus has any sort of deformity, no matter how big or small, the parents should think very carefully about what sort of life that child will have.

Having got that of my chest, yes Jilly, would be lovely to go out and get totally smashed - maybe if Leeds get promoted

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Jillster · Posted: Thu Oct 18, 2007 5:23 pm Post subject:

Jo. I am not waiting that long (til May anyway) to get hammered with you... I will be over in a few weeks ! lol

Keep smiling hun

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Josie-lufc · Posted: Thu Oct 18, 2007 5:24 pm Post subject:

Ooooh great Jilly, cant wait - just give us a call, I'm free anytime

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Jillster · Posted: Thu Oct 18, 2007 5:30 pm Post subject:

Josie-lufc · Posted: Thu Oct 18, 2007 5:32 pm Post subject:

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LynnT · Heavyweight. Joined: 17 Oct 2006 Posts: 12109 Offline

Pretty Shambolic · Posted: Thu Oct 18, 2007 6:47 pm Post subject:

Sorry to be the controversial one for a change, but you have to consider peoples circumstances. It's not just about the health of mother and baby - It's also about the kind of unbringing you can provide for the kid.

If Sarah was to get pregnant now, which neither of us want, it'd not be under the greatest circumstances as we're both busy with work and study, but we'd be able to provide for a child comfortably, and mine and Sarah's relationship is strong enough that we could also provide a stable family upbringing - as we both had. However, when I was 16, I was desperate to leave home, and got into a serious relationship with a lass I wasn't in love with. She fell pregnant, and it was mass panic. We argued constantly, we were worried about the financial situation, and I didn't want to have to leave college and work full time.

Selfish, it may be, but I wanted her to abort from day one, as we couldn't provide the kinda lifestyle we should have been able to for the kid. She eventually lost the kid, and I was left with the blame and the guilt - despite none of it being my fault. It's still very bitter ground now, but I think (as awful as it sounds) it was for the best - Call it fate, or whatever makes you feel more comfortable, but that kid would have ended up being brought up amongst a chaotic relationship, with no stability whatsoever.

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I'm going to live forever! So far, so good...

MissLovely · Joined: 22 Oct 2007 Posts: 36 Offline Location: Leeds

I have to aggree with Milky here.

And another point, as the embyo/foetus can not survive outside of the womb (unaided) under 26 weeks, they are not really babies yet. That is why in Holland for example no foetuses are revived under 26 weeks of age and are just given palutive care.

So an abortion under 26 weeks is simply a medical procedure. It is only murder from 26 weeks. Although there are private clinics (esp in London) that will 'abort' the baby after this age and it is totally illegal.

Sadly those feotuses revived at 24 & 25 weeks, only 1 in 1000 will be a normal healthy child.

Another point to consider is the main thrust behind the anti-abortionist lobies (i.e. the cash) are religeous fanatics that play on people's emotions to get there point of view put accross.

Take for example the Catholic Church. I am not having a go at Catholic people just the hierachy that run it. They fund so called abortion counselling services, that put pressure on women/girls not to have abortions and do not actually make any medical referals. This is very sly as these adverts appear alongside reputable charities such as Marie Stopes. Also the current Pope and the last pope are against abortions even for women who have been RAPED, or pregnancy/birth will be of medical harm i.e. HIV/Aids sufferes. Aministy International, the Human Rights Organisation have a fight on there hands with the Catholic hierachy who are publically declaring them as everything wrong. How can anyone aregue with AI?

I believe that abortions should be available to those who want them. And no one has the right to tell someone what to do with there body.

If abortion is not right for you, then that is fine. I hate to see people attack those whoose difficult and often very emotional decision is private and nothing to do with anyone else.

For further info go to...

www.mariestopes.org.uk

lil eva · Posted: Tue Oct 23, 2007 10:48 am Post subject:

I think that the above opinions were just personal opinions of some of our members miss lovely,if everyone was of the same opinion about different issues it would be a strange world we live in.

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Always remember to forget the troubles that pass your way; BUT NEVER forget the blessings that come each day.

MissLovely · Joined: 22 Oct 2007 Posts: 36 Offline Location: Leeds

Absolutely

But have you noticed, it is NEVER pro-abotionists that start these debates?

I think that if serious debate was to take place then it is not a matter of black & white. There are many shades of grey.

That is why I say it is personal choice

Pretty Shambolic · Posted: Tue Oct 23, 2007 11:23 am Post subject:

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