A very tough read ( but it will make you think)

Woody · Posted: Tue Sep 26, 2006 6:34 pm

CHRIS DIED WEEKS AFTER OUR THE WEDDING BUT.. I'M STILL GOING TO LIVE OUR DREAMS
WHEN Becky Harris married Chris it should have been the happiest day of her life. But they both knew he was dying. And just six weeks later he was struck down by cancer at the age of 25. Here 26-year-old Becky tells of her pain and how she still has plans to follow her travelling dreams and take her beloved Chris with her...

'THE stunning Sydney Harbour Bridge and the bright lights of Japan - my fiancee Chris and I talked about little else.

Since meeting at university five years ago, we'd had our lives mapped out. We knew early on that we wanted to spend the rest of our lives together but first we planned to travel the world.

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"Thailand, Japan, Australia. I want to go everywhere," Chris said excitedly as we made plans for our gap year. He worked as a supply teacher while I was a radiographer in Bath.

We hoped to set off on our trip at the end of last year. But last October Chris started getting terrible headaches. He tried cutting out caffeine, fizzy drinks and chocolate but they still didn't improve. He went to see his GP and was booked in for a hospital check-up the folowing month. But a few days later he woke up one morning and found he couldn't walk. He was dizzy, couldn't keep his balance and began vomiting repeatedly.

We lived in Bristol and went straight to the city's Southmead hospital where I waited as he underwent a scan of his head. But I never could have prepared myself for what I was about to hear. Chris came out, looking shell-shocked, sat me down to break the news.

"The doctor says I've got cancer," he told me. We held each other and cried. Further tests showed it had started in his chest and had spread to his lungs.

And it was a rare form of the disease called soft part sarcoma. He was only the second person in Britain to be diagnosed that year.

But with Chris's positive attitude, we picked ourselves up. We focused on fighting the cancer any way possible.

But we were shattered when doctors insisted there was a danger Chris wouldn't survive the weekend. All kinds of thoughts went through my mind.

I wanted to get married, have Chris's children but now our entire future hung in the balance. Chris was given high doses of steroids to reduce the swelling in his brain and two weeks later he felt better than he had in weeks.

Slowly, we discovered more about Chris's condition, which mainly affects young people. Doctors thought it had probably been in his body for years and he hadn't had any symptoms or pain because his young system could work around it. The devastating news was that the cancer was terminal and because it was so rare, no one could say how long we had.

Despite the diagnosis, Chris refused to be depressed and his strength astounded me. We decided to live each day at a time and although it made us sad knowing we wouldn't share the happy life we'd planned, we wanted to make the most of whatever time we had left together. I decided that I wanted to get married as soon as possible. Chris was my soul mate and I wanted to tell the world how much I loved him. I didn't care if I had two days or 20 years with Chris, I'd enjoy it no matter what. But Chris resisted. "I want our wedding to be perfect," he said. "I don't want people to think we're doing it because I'm sick."

I whisked him away to Iceland for five days at the end of December as a birthday treat.

Our round the world trip plans had been shelved but at least we were still visiting an amazing country. At times it was hard to believe that Chris was sick and even when we were given a wheelchair in March, he only used it when he was exhausted.

One night in early March, he was lying in the bath as we were playing cards and chatted. "Let's do it," he suddenly piped up. "Let's get married." At last he'd finally agreed!

The following day we went to London. The Willow Foundation - a charity that organises special days for seriously-ill young adults - arranged a suite at the Ritz with dinner and a West End Show. That night we set a date of May 1, which gave us two months to get everything sorted.

We booked the Tythe Barn in Bath for the civil ceremony, reception and disco and our families pulled out all the stops. On the day I awoke to amazing sunshine

As I stepped into the room where we made our vows, I was overcome with happiness to see Chris grinning back at me. We said the traditional vows but included a few extra lines about the importance of our wedding rings being a symbol of eternity. It didn't even cross my mind that I would have to say goodbye to Chris at some point in the near future. Even as we said the line, "til death do us part," it didn't cross my mind that it could be one day soon.

We spent our week-long honeymoon at a house owned by the Youth Cancer Trust in Bournemouth.

We had an amazing time, horse riding and go-karting and eating out in restaurants.

"If you meet someone else when I'm gone I want you to be happy," Chris told me, matter of factly. It broke my heart to think of a future without him in it.

We loved being married and six weeks after the wedding, we met Chris's parents for lunch.

Afterwards, Chris was in good spirits as I headed off to my night shift at the hospital.

But that evening I got a call. He'd been admitted to hospital with stomach pains and he was asking for me.

I rushed straight there, not knowing what to expect. Doctors suspected Chris had an ulcer which had burst and his weakened body couldn't fight it. Although they offered to operate, they doubted Chris would survive the operation. All we could do was wait.

I spent the next 24 hours at his bedside, talking and trying to make my new husband smile in, what was to be, the last hours of his life. He loved fresh pineapple and I had some leftovers in the car from my night shift. It made me smile to watch Chris eat the lot along with a whole bunch of grapes and cherries. It was a nice moment among all the sadness.

I was still at Chris's bedside when he took his last breath the following afternoon. He was 25. Before he died, he told me how much he loved me, something I'll always remember.

All the friends and family, those who had celebrated our marriage just six weeks earlier, packed Camford crematorium for Chris's funeral. I used every bit of strength I had to read a poem Chris liked, by Christina Rossetti.

He gave me the strength I needed to get through it. To say the opening lines, When I am dead my dearest, Sing no sad songs for me... It's almost four months since our wedding and I think about him all the time. My wedding ring is a permanent reminder of the happiness we shared and I'll never take it off.

I'm going to Florida and taking Chris's ashes with me. I plan to scatter some while I'm there, maybe on a nice beach. I'll take them with me whenever I travel and leave a part of Chris wherever I go. That way, we can fulfil our dream of travelling the world together.'

Chris said the news was not good - he had cancer. We held each other and cried

I was at his bedside as he told me he loved me and took his last breath

what can i say.............. made me think , nuff said:-)

Guest · Posted: Tue Sep 26, 2006 8:12 pm

Very sad

Unfortunatly part of life for so many!!!! Make you thankful for what you have!!

Vausey · Lightweight Joined: 22 Jul 2006 Posts: 235

emotional read
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MEH

Armleywhite · Posted: Thu Sep 28, 2006 1:00 am

Hope he was insured well, after all, she aint going anywhere like those places if he wern't!!
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